Stitches
by AutumnOtts
Summary: I felt the cold metal slip effortlessly through my skin, and then there was the warmth. The warmth as I felt the pain slip away. I closed my eyes and went willingly into the darkness." OOCBella and Eward POV. Darkness, and some lightness. Review Please!
1. Running from the pain

**Hey guys, this is my new story Stitches. Please be forewarned it will be rough, this is not a fluff, happy story. There is a lot of pain, both mentally and physically. There is traumatic events. If you can't handle tough subject matter please don't read it.**

**I will most likely switch POV every other chapter from Bella to Edward, I will let you know if it deviates.**

**summary**

**Title: Stitches**

**Rating: M**

**Bella Swan runs away from Phoenix seeking refuge with her father in Forks. She is haunted by a traumatic event and the heartbreaking aftermath. Her scars are physical and emotional. Some scars never heal, or can they? Edward is lost in the daze of high school. He is popular, and to everybody that doesn't know him he seems to be a cold womanizer, who is only interested in his own needs. When he comes in contact with the new girl who is desperately trying to be invisible, will he come out of his haze in time to save her from the demons that haunt her? Even the demons that aren't in her head? Will Bella be able to allow herself to heal both on the inside and the outside? Or will her fear take over her life, or even end it? All human. There will be serious subject matter ( Rape, assault, physical and mental trauma that is very severe.) I promise it will be a good all around story, and I will try to update often so that the traumatic stuff doesn't consume the whole story. **

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Bella POV

I laid on the cool tile floor, letting all of the feelings around me set in. I could feel the icy hard texture of the tile under my butt, and the warm breeze from the open window. I could hear the hum of the all too familiar air conditioning unit. All of this paled to what I was really feeling.

All I could feel was pain, searing unbearable pain. I looked across the room and could see the scars, the horribly painful scars. I quickly pulled my shirt down to hide them. The pain, it was too much, the physical pain from the wounds inflicted, and the mental pain. I closed my eyes and remembered the terror, and the panic. Then all that was left was pain. He was supposed to be there for me..always.

I couldn't take it any longer. His words were ringing in my ears, and the pain was too much. My skin began to tingle, and the ghost of their touch brought back the terror and the panic I needed it all to stop, I couldn't do it any longer. I knew their words were true. I was worthless, broken, and tainted, nobody would ever love me. NOBODY. Everybody would be better off without me, and my shame.

I felt the cold metal slip effortlessly through my skin, and then there was the warmth. The warmth as I felt the pain slip away. I closed my eyes and went willingly into the darkness. The dark was suffocating, but at least there was no pain. It was finally over, my pain, their hate, his anger, and the danger, it was all over.

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There was a faint glow in my mind. I heard soft rustling noises, and beeping. I took a deep breath, and tried to stretch. I couldn't move my arms, why can't I move my arms? Then I remembered. I wanted the pain to stop, and I stopped it. This must be the punishment for all my sins especially my final one.

I tried one last time in vain to move my arms. Then I heard a familiar voice, which confused me.

"Bella, Oh Bella!"

If I was dead, and if I was in hell why could I hear my mother sobbing my name? I forced my eyes open and looked around. The ceiling was all white with a plethora of florescent bulbs blinding me from above. The walls were green, an all to familiar green. I then knew that I wasn't dead, I was in the hospital. Somebody must have found me in time. That truly was my punishment, to keep living the life that haunted me.

I looked over to my side. "Mom?" I barely managed to croak out. She threw her head onto my chest and held me close sobbing incoherently.

"Oh Bella, I am so happy you are alright.....Why? Why Bella? Why would you do something so selfish?" She was screaming as tears streamed from her eyes, and snot choked off her words. Her eyes were puffy and red with dark circles around them.

I didn't know what to say. She was right though, it was selfish. I wasn't thinking of her, Phil, or Charlie. I was only thinking about them, and him of course. "I just wanted the pain to stop, I couldn't take it anymore." I whispered with shame thick in my voice. "I'm sorry mom I should have thought about the few people who do care, but the pain..it was too much."

She placed her elbows on the edge of the bed and placed her chin in her hands. "Why didn't you tell me? I knew you were still hurting, but I didn't know it was bad enough to make you...try..to..." She couldn't finish and a fresh wave of tears came.

I don't know why I didn't tell her or Phil about all of it. They knew about the physical pain, and some of the emotional pain, I never told them what he had said, and what others had said. Those words were the cause of my true pain. My parents had been working so hard on fixing what the could see, but I hid what they couldn't. It was really my own fault. I was just afraid if they knew they would think the same way...they would hate me too.

I sighed deeply and tried to sit up, but then I realized I was in restraints. I looked questioningly toward my mom. She sighed.

"It is just policy with attempted suicides, they will untie you once you talk to a psychiatrist, and they say it is ok. I will let them know you are awake." She wiped her eyes and walked out.

I knew what I had done was wrong, but I was afraid that I wouldn't have a choice if all of this continued the way it had the past four months. I just can't take the pain that was already there with the pain I would gain everyday seeing his eyes filled with hate and disgust, and hearing the words of everybody around me. That is what drove me to try and take my life in my small bathroom in Phoenix. I had to think of something, or I would end up back here, dead, or locked up somewhere.

"Hello Ms. Francis, how are you feeling?" I looked and saw a short bald man wearing a white coat, and bifocals.

"I am ok, and it is Swan, my last name is Swan." I said while I looked behind the arrogant looking doctor and saw my dad Charlie smile slightly when I said that. Renee had decided to make me use her maiden name of Francis after she left Charlie. She only did it to spite him. Once I was old enough to figure it out I started going by Swan even though I was registered in everything under Francis.

"Ok, Ms. Swan if I untie you will you attempt to harm yourself or others?" His tone of voice was starting to piss me off. Like he was so much better than me.

"I won't hurt anybody." I growled in a whisper. I hoped I didn't have to spend too much time with this quack of a head doctor.

They undid the restraints and I slowly sat up, I felt dizzy, and queasy. I righted myself, and a familiar sharp pain ripped through my body. I grabbed at my torso and gasped. My parents looked concerned but they all knew that this was not a new pain. I had it for the past four months, and it wasn't getting better

Dr. Dickweed left without saying anything else. I looked at the three people who truly loved me. I felt overwhelmed with guilt from the pain and terror I must have caused them. They had been through so much with me as it was.

"I am so sorry...I was hurting..I should have told you.." I cried as the three of them circled me and held me until the sobs stopped. "I need you to know, it wasn't just from what you know about...there is more." I slowly told them the details of my added pain, and how that traumatic event four months ago was used against me like a weapon everyday.

It hurt to see the pain in their eyes over what I had told them. I begged them to not make me go back to that horrible school. I wouldn't survive it even if he wasn't there reminding me of everything I had lost.

"Honey, I don't know what we can do. There isn't any schools close enough to the house for you to get to." Was Renee's answer to my plea. I love my mom, but sometimes I felt as though she was waiting for me to just wake up and be normal again. That was never going to happen. I wasn't normal, and never could be not after..never.

I started crying as I saw it in her eyes that she would force me to return to that hell, the place that was killing me slowly everyday. I looked around the room at Phil, and Charlie begging with sheer panic in my eyes.

Charlie cleared his throat. "Well, you...well you could come live with me...if you..want to." He said nervously. I hated Forks, Washington the sleepy little town where Charlie was the chief of police. But I hated being here where the memories, the terror, and the pain was around every corner more so. I looked hopefully at my mom and Phil. They exchanged worried glances, but I saw it in their faces. They needed the break as much as I did.

"Well, that's settled then. I will move in with Ch...Dad as soon as I am released from here." I said in a tone leaving nothing up for discussion.

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As I stared up at the small building that would now be my school I shivered. It was October and it felt more like December, but then again I was used to Phoenix weather. HOT HOT HOT. The dreary gray building looked drab in the surrounding grey of the misty weather.

I looked at the rain as a source of my cleansing. I know some people would consider my coming here a form of running away, but it was a clean start for me. I still felt the pain, but it didn't follow me around in this unfamilar place. It was dulled just like everything else here was dulled by the rain.

I finally got to be Bella Swan. I didn't have to pretend to be somebody else, and all I wanted was to finish the next two years of school invisibly. I wanted to hide, I didn't want to make friends, be social, be normal. I wanted to finish school, and start my life fresh. Small towns are a good place to hide, and that is all I wanted.

If I was truly honest with myself I wanted to hide because I was afraid that if I got to know people or they got to know me, that all of my misery would come back full strength. It was already going to be hard enough to avoid the one thing I feared most...being touched.

Every time somebody that wasn't one of my parents touched me I would come undone, that night would replay itself, and the consequences were disastrous. I knew that all I had to do was be unfriendly, and then I would be left alone quickly.

I knew that my being that way would start the talk, small towns are notorious for that, but I could handle that kind of talk, it was the other kind that would kill me. I dressed drab and wore my hair down so that I could withdraw into it.

I went to the office and checked in. The ladies in the office were warm and friendly and I pulled off the fake nice but quiet routine. They gave me a map, and explained where each of my classes were, and where the cafeteria was. I trudged off in the rain towards my first class, Junior English.

My first three classes went by with little incidence. The teachers were kind and didn't introduce me, and I found seats in the back off all the rooms to avoid the stares I knew would come my way. A few people tried to talk to me. I kept my answers short, and made sure my tone was not open and friendly. By lunch time I had managed to discourage most of the admirers.

I went through the lunch line keeping my gaze to the floor so people wouldn't be tempted to talk to me. I retrieved my lunch, and went and sat at an empty table in a corner near the exit. I sat where I could see everything that was going on. People were interesting to watch.

I walked to the trash can to throw away the remainder of my lunch, and that was when it happened. I hit something hard, and was knocked backwards falling on my ass, and before I could protest I was pulled up by strong arms. The panic started rising as those horrible memories started to flood my mind, that was all it took the touch of another. Then I looked up and saw him, the one who knocked me over and pulled me up, his green eyes were like nothing I had seen before. The shock of his eyes pushed the memories away.

"Sorry, are you ok?" He said in an embarrassed whisper.

"Yeah fine." I said while I ducked into my hair, and walked quickly from the room.

I hid in the girls bathroom until the bell ending lunch rang. All I could think about was those eyes. I could still feel the tingle where he touched me, and the memories were on the verge, but I fought them off. I knew once I was alone tonight the terror would take me. I just prayed it wouldn't be as bad as the last time.

I washed my face and went to my next class. I walked in and handed my paper to the teacher. Mr. Mason then told me to take the empty seat next to Edward. I turned, and there he was, the boy with the green eyes next to the only empty seat in the class. I sighed and went and sat down. I did everything I could to not look at the person sitting next to me, and as luck would have it he was too wrapped up in the two girls in front of us to bother me.

During the lecture I would peek at him through the veil of my hair. He was good looking, ok extremely good looking. He seemed to be cocky, the typical hot guy. When the class ended the two girls in front of us grabbed both of his hands and walked out with him. Even thought he looked perfect he was flawed, and seriously what kind of girls share a guy like that?

I walked behind them on my way to the gym, they stopped and he kissed the strawberry blonde girl on the lips, and she broke free of him to walk into the gym. Then him and the blonde girl snuggled closer and walked off toward the main buildings. That just made me shiver in disgust. Gross.

I didn't have to dress out in gym thank God. I needed to figure out how to do that so that nobody would see my hideous scars. I knew if those were seen then people would get curious and I didn't want them to know, that was why I came here to run from my past.

I left school, and got to Charlie's well my house, and did my homework, and finished unpacking. About an hour before Charlie was supposed to get home I started making dinner. I made my specialty chicken alfredo with sundried tomatoes. Just as I was finishing the garlic bread I heard the door bang shut.

"Bells, honey you home?" Charlie called as he took off his boots and gunbelt.

"Yeah, dad I am in here. Dinner is almost ready." I called out.

We ate dinner in silence, occasionally he would ask how my day was. I told him it was fine. He always looked so worried. He studied my face to make sure that I wasn't hiding my pain from him. I decided to tell him about my run in with Edward and how it almost brought on a panic attack. He seemed relieved that I didn't actually break down, and now that I thought about it, it was the first time somebody that wasn't family touched me and I didn't lose it.

After dinner, I showered. The scars were the constant reminder and I tried to ignore them and shower quickly. I went and laid in my bed, and it came just like I knew it would. The memories of the most awful night of my life, and they were followed by his words. "I don't want you anymore, who would want you after that, your used, get away from me." The pain washed over me like waves in the ocean, and I cried. I let the sobs take me over until they led to an exhausted sleep.

It had been one day, and I only lost it when I went to bed, this was a major improvement, and I was slightly hopeful that running from my pain would actually work. That maybe my soul could be repaired. One day at a time, one stitch at a time.


	2. The beginning of the end

**Thank you all for you reviews and support. I am taking a risk with this type of story. I really appreciate your reviews they let me know that you are following me, and are getting the point.**

**Once again, this is the last week to vote for my halloween one-shot, so if you haven't read it yet please do, and the link to vote is in my profile.**

**Thanks again to my awesome beta Brook.**

**I don't own Twilight but I can pretend.**

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Edward POV

_Buzzz Buzzz Buzz_. I reached out and turned off the annoying alarm clock with a groan. I pulled my blanket over my head and started to fall back asleep.

"Edward, wake the fuck up!! We are going to be late." My brother Emmett was banging on my door. Knowing him, he would accidentally break it down.

"Easy Em, I am coming. Take it easy on my door, mom will be so pissed if you break another door." I yelled at him while I climbed out of bed. I headed over to my dresser and pulled out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

I went into my bathroom, shaved, combed my hair, and got dressed. As I let the steam wake me up, I realized that this was the first day my alarm actually woke me up. My sister Alice usually beats it to the punch. Where is she? She probably isn't back from her mother daughter trip.

"Aww, man." I groaned as I walked downstairs. If Alice and mom weren't back that meant I had to eat cereal, and buy lunch at school. This day totally sucks already. I stepped into the kitchen and was surprised by the smell of pancakes.

"Good morning, Edward." I looked up to see my dad standing in front of the griddle flipping pancakes.

"Um..hey...dad." I spluttered out. He was never home when we got up. He was an important doctor at the hospital, and an administrator, so he was gone before the sun came up, and rarely made it home before it went down.

"I figured we could have a father and sons breakfast before the ladies of the house get back later today." Dad said while smiling brightly at Emmett, and myself.

Emmett was shoving pancakes into his mouth at an alarming rate. "Dad, weren't they supposed to get back early this morning?" He asked with a full mouth.

"Their plane was delayed, they will be getting in before noon. Alice will be back at school tomorrow." He answered while sneakily putting pancakes on plates for me and him. You had to be sneaky with food around Emmett or you would starve.

The three of us ate breakfast quickly, and our dad left in a hurry. "Bye, you two have a good day at school. I am going to try to come home early so we can have a family dinner."

"Alright dad, have a good day." I said while rinsing my plate.

"Don't kill anybody Dr. Cullen." Emmett giggled as our dad walked out the door, shaking his head at Emmett and his ridiculous comments.

"I love you guys, be good please." He said as the door slammed shut behind him. We then heard his car leaving the driveway.

I sighed and slumped down in my chair. I didn't want to face another day in high school hell. Yeah sure, I was mister popular, and I had two girlfriends. If that is what you want to call Tanya and Jessica.

Sure, to everybody it looked like I was the man. I had the two 'hottest' girls in school all to myself, a rich family, and an awesome brother and sister. Things aren't always as they appear. Jessica and Tanya were just a distraction, so that people didn't know the whole truth behind what happened the first week of summer break.

Jessica and Tanya had been friends of the family since we were in the second grade. So when Victoria pulled her little stunts, they came up with this ridiculous plan. Jessica was in love with Mike and Tanya was in love with Tyler. We figured they could help distract people from what happened with Victoria and I, and make their desired guys jealous.

I only went along with it in public, we didn't talk outside of school, or school related events. I don't know if our little arrangement was working the way they wanted, but it did turn the talk of the town to our 'nasty' little threesome instead of it being about what she did. I shivered as the memory of that night crept into my mind without permission.

"Thinking about Victoria whoria?" Emmett asked when he saw me shudder. I just nodded. Emmett and his nicknames. He called my little twisted threesome Eddie and the tramps. He really hated Jessica and Tanya, so did Alice for that matter. It was hard not being around my family at school because of it.

There was a knock at the door, and in floated the familiar voices. "Emmie bear, where are you?" That was Rosalie Hale, Emmett's girlfriend...more like third arm but whatever.

"Ally, baby where are you?" That was Jasper Hale. He was Alice's boyfriend, and my best friend outside of Emmett. It wasn't always that way though. He originally befriended me in eighth grade because he had the hots for my baby sister. It worked because she noticed him, and they started dating before freshman year. I didn't like it at first, but I have adjusted now...well except that one time.

One day about eight or nine months ago, I overheard their 'activities'. When Jasper came downstairs to watch a movie with Emmett and I, well I broke his nose and gave him a fat lip. My family, especially Alice, were pretty pissed about it.

Alice sat me down and lectured me about it being her life, and she can do what she wants, yadda yadda. I eventually decided to pretend that I didn't know my best friend was banging my little sister. It was hard considering her bedroom was next to mine.

"Alice, and mom aren't back yet. They will be home this afternoon" I told Jasper as I slapped him on the back and walked out to my car. Jasper rode with me, and Emmett rode with Rose. Jasper and Rose were brother and sister. She was eleven months older than him.

"Hey dude, we all miss you. Especially Alice. She cries a lot about what you are now. I guess you knew that already." Jasper said in a low voice staring at the floorboards of my Volvo.

"Yeah, I figured she was the reason Em and I keep crying." I answered him. He just shook his head and laughed without humor.

Emmett, Alice and I were all born within twenty seven months of each other. We were the outcome of the years my parents were really really into each other. Emmett was the oldest, I was born nine months after him, and Alice was born eight and a half after me. She was early, which figures she is always so impatient. The strange thing was that we had connections like you see with twins. When one of us is upset, the other two feel it.

Whenever Alice's emotion got out of hand was the worst. If she cried, Em and I cried for no reason at all. I knew that my sister was hurting because of my irresponsible behavior with what she called the whore twins. Like I said Em and her didn't like Jessica and Tanya.

It was quiet the rest of the drive to school. As much as my little arrangement had helped me, I still knew it was wrong. Every time I had to kiss them, and hold them in a loving way, my stomach would flip. It was truly nauseating. It was just easier this way. I wanted to just finish school, and move on with my life with no complications. Being in this fake relationship was definitely uncomplicated. Hopefully someday I could get over what happened with Victoria. Yeah right.

We pulled into the parking lot, and I gave one last smile to Jasper, Emmett and Rose before being snared by the two vultures. "Eddie and the tramps." Emmett yelled as Jessica and Tanya wrapped their arms around my waist and we made out way to the cafeteria before first period.

"Hey Edward, how's it going?" Tanya asked as we took a seat in the middle of all the action.

"It's going." Was my usual answer. I sighed trying to pull myself together to make it through another day.

"We, have been thinking....Mike, and Tyler are starting to show interest, so maybe we can start to act like our relationship is straining." Jessica whispered. Like that was going to be hard to do.

"Ok." I only ever gave one or two word answers with them. It was simpler, they were less likely to be confused by it.

"Wait though. I heard we have a new girl, so she needs to get the wrong idea about Edward first then we can start to drift apart." Tanya whispered to the two of us. Oh great, a new girl. My experience with new girls was, well, very bad. Victoria was the new girl last year and now look where I am.

I knew this meant that we had to act super lovey dovey for the next few days to discourage the new girl. I know I sound stuck on myself, but that isn't it. I just don't want anybody falling for me, and even worse me falling for anybody. I learned my lesson the last time. When you fall in love with somebody you give them the power to humiliate you and break your spirit.

The bell rang signaling the only class I had minus the not so dynamic duo. It was also the class I had with my brother, Spanish class. I also had history without Tanya and Jessica, and Alice sat next to me. I was going to miss having her in class today. It was my one chance to try and be her 'normal' brother. I also felt more normal when I got to spend time with her and Emmett outside of the house.

Spanish class was boring as ever. Emmett and Rosalie teased me about my relationship, which they did everyday. At the end of class, Emmett grabbed my arm and had a very sad, serious face on.

"Seriously Edward, I know that it keeps your mind off of what happened, but we miss you. I want my real brother back. This is my last year at home, and I want to spend it with the brother I have always known and loved. Not the perverted shell that is left of him. I will help you come back, and you know Ally will too. Just think about it." His eyes were glistening with unshed tears, and I knew I wasn't just hurting Alice, but Emmett too.

I am such an asshole. I am ruining the lives of everybody around me. First with what Victoria did, causing my family so much grief. Then Jessica and Tanya, they would forever have the reputation of being dumb skanks that are capable of sharing a guy. Not that that wasn't far from the truth. Then finally the two people I was closest two, I hurt my teddy bear brother, and my emotional loving energetic sister. I really need to pull my head out of my ass and stop hurting people.

"I will Em. I promise to think about it." I said, while I walked out of the room, and was immediately in the grasps of the two succubus'. I heard Emmett sigh, and turned to see him slump off, while Rose stroked his head and glared at me.

I made it through my next two classes in a daze. I have no idea what happened in them, I just knew that I really needed to rethink the way I was living my life. I used to be more like my brother and sister. I was kind, and funny, and fun to be around. Even Jessica and Tanya said I was no fun to be around, but I served a purpose. So glad I could be good for something.

I made it half way through my day, even though it felt like a lifetime. I went through the lunch line and bought some of the disgusting slop that passed for food. I saw Emmett, Jasper, and Rosalie all cringing at their food too. We would all be glad when my mom got back, she made us all gourmet style lunches that were so good. She thought of Rose and Jasper as her kids too.

I sat at our usual table where all the 'popular' people sat. This time, Mike and Tyler were trying to get the attention of Jessica and Tanya. I was thankful that this arrangement was coming to an end. I really couldn't stand being around all of these superficial over-sexed people.

"Oh my God, look at the new girl." Lauren hissed at everybody at the table. I didn't really care but by instinct I turned the direction they were all looking. "She is so ugly, an look at her clothes." Lauren continued. I just kept staring. I couldn't really see her, she had her long mahogany hair hanging in front of her face. He clothes were simple, but I didn't think they were as bad as Lauren seemed to think. She was sitting alone picking at her food. I could tell that she was watching the room through her hair. I wondered how it was she was all alone. New students were usually surrounded by a throng of welcomers their first few weeks.

"Her name is Isabella Swan, she goes by Bella. She is chief Swan's daughter. I didn't know he had any kids." Jessica told us. She must have had English with her, since I hadn't seen her yet today. Bella, hmm...that means beautiful in Italian. From what I could tell she didn't seem to agree with her name, or she wouldn't be hiding.

I picked at my food, and listened to the people around me talk shit about the girl they knew nothing about. Apparently she was overly unfriendly to everybody today, and that was why nobody was sitting with her at lunch. I wondered if she was truly unfriendly, or if she just preferred being alone.

I got up to throw the remainder of my nasty lunch away. Jessica called my name and I turned to see what she wanted, and that was when it happened. I collided with a small hard body. I turned to see the new girl, Bella fall to the floor. I quickly grabbed her and pulled her back to her feet. She ripped her arms out of my grasp. It was then that I saw her eyes. They were a brilliant brown, and what I saw in her eyes was so disturbing. Her eyes were filled with panic, and under that was pain, severe life changing pain. I knew that look because I wore it at one time.

"Sorry, are you ok?" I said with embarrassment at being lost in her pain filled eyes.

"Yeah, fine." She answered while she turned and practically ran out of the cafeteria. That left me confused. What did I do that upset her so much? More importantly why did she look panicked when I touched her, and why was she in so much pain.

_Edward you don't need to deal with this right now, it is more trouble than it's worth, just get through the next two years. I am sure she is fine, you just scared her when you knocked her down. _I told myself over and over. I really couldn't care about this girl I knew nothing about. I was probably reading too much into it anyway.

"What did you do to her?" Emmett asked as I passed his table. I just gave him a look that told him I had no idea. It was nice that him, Alice, and I could communicate without words.

I went back to my table, but I just couldn't get those pained brown eyes out of my mind. She was definitely not ugly as Lauren had said. Bella was actually the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, and it was really bothering me that she seemed to be in so much pain. But what could I do about it. Nothing, I didn't need any complications to my already ridiculous life.

I walked to class hand in hand with Jessica and Tanya. I was so thankful that this was coming to an end, but they were right, we needed to make an impression on Bella. If she showed any interest in me, I would be too tempted to show an interest back, and I don't think my heart could take it if something went bad.

I took my seat at my always empty biology lab table, and settled in for another mediocre lecture. I was ranked number one in the junior class and with the elementary curriculum I was always bored. Mike and Tyler were also in this class, so I hammed up the whole being in love with two of the dumbest girls in school.

Just as the class was settling in, she walked in to the classroom and handed Mr. Banner her enrollment slip. I felt the heat rise in my body. There was only one empty seat in the entire class, and it so happened to be the seat next to mine. Why does the world hate me so damn much? Can't I just be left to live my life the way it is now? Why did fate just keep throwing me curve balls when I wasn't ready for them.

I looked up at her when he told her where to sit. I saw recognition in her eyes, that was quickly replace by the hallow look of pain and suffering. I don't know if it is just me that causes her to look that way, or whether she had been through something that caused her pain. Maybe I reminded her of a boyfriend she was forced to leave behind when she moved here. Nobody knew the reason that the chief's daughter all of a sudden came to live here.

_You shouldn't be thinking about this, you don't know her, and you don't want to know. Complications._ I told myself over and over as she took her seat next to me. She barely even looked in my direction, and that was a relief. I didn't want her to pay attention to me. I didn't want to pay attention to myself, and if I felt a real connection to somebody outside my family I would be forced to look at myself closely.

I decided to make sure that she understood what kind of guy I was supposed to be, so I started running my fingers through Tanya's long hair, and throwing winks and smiles at Jessica. I happened to see Mike and Tyler both glare at me and whisper to each other when I did that. It was working, soon I would be free to be just Edward. Whoever that was.

Class was yet another boring unoriginal lecture that I completely ignored. I kept shifting in my seat, and catching glimpses at Bella hiding behind her hair. It pained me that such a beautiful creature felt the need to hide. As soon as class ended, I was eagerly embraced by Jessica and Tanya, and I walked them to their classes. Usually this was an exciting time for me. The next class was the one class I had with Alice, but I would miss her today.

We stopped outside of the gym, all of us aware that Bella was right behind us. Tanya reached up and I kissed her lips quickly. I think I might have heard a noise of disgust from behind us. As soon as Tanya went into the gym, Jessica cuddled up into me and whispered. "I think that it is working, it is going to be weird when this charade is over."

She was right it would be weird, I had gotten so used to being their shoulder bag that I had forgotten how to be myself. I dropped Jessica off at her French class, and I headed off to History. I sighed when I sat down next to Alice's empty chair. All through the boring lesson, I thought about Bella, even thought I tried not to, and I also thought about my brother and sister. When I started to think about Alice, I felt a rise of panic. She would see right through my act, and know that Bella interested me. How was I going to deal with that?

When the final bell rang, I was so relieved. I wanted to go home, and see my mom and my sister. They had been gone for a week on their annual mother daughter getaway. We each got one week with each of out parent's every year. Next month was my turn with mom.

I walked quickly to my car hoping to avoid Jessica and Tanya. I figured if it looked like I was avoiding them it could be the beginning of the end. I sat in the driver seat and got situated when there was a knock on the window. _Crap, they found me._ I looked up and was relieved to see the smiling face of Jasper. I hit the locks and he opened the passenger side door.

"Do you mind if I ride with you? Emmett and Rose are making out again, and I am not in the mood to watch them and wait for them finish." He asked in an annoyed tone.

I just laughed and nodded. He didn't tell me his real reason for not wanting to wait for them to quit fooling around, he wanted to see Alice as badly as I did.

"So, did you see the new girl Bella? She seems really standoffish, but she is smokin', not like Alice but damn." Jasper exclaimed.

"Yeah, she sits next to me in Bio, and I really didn't notice what she looked like." Big fat fucking lie.

He just gave me a weird look and we drove to my house in silence. When we pulled into the drive I saw the curtains move, and not a few seconds later Alice was bounding out the front door followed by my mom. I parked and got out bracing myself for impact.

Then my little pixie sister jumped in my arms wrapping her whole body around me all the while squealing in my ear. "Oh Edward I missed you so much. Did you miss me? I had so much fun with mom. You are so going to have fun on your trip. Anything new happen in school? Where is Emmett? Oh Jasper is here, yay!" She finally let go of me before allowing me to answer any of her questions and attacked Jasper a little more enthusiastically and quieter. I guess it is hard to do twenty questions while playing tonsil hockey.

I laughed and shook my head, making my way to the porch where my mom was patiently waiting. I ran up to her and engulfed her in a big hug. "Hi mom, I missed you. Did Alice drive you nuts? Just kidding." She just shook her head and laughed.

"Why don't you guys get inside. I made sandwiches, I figured you wouldn't eat much at school. We will have dinner in about three hours. Hurry now before Emmett gets here an eats everything." She said in her sweet motherly tone. Just as she finished we heard the tires of Roses BMW hit the drive, and all of us darted inside.

I laughed when Jasper hugged my mom and said, "Oh Esme I have missed your food so much, I thought I would die when you left." He then shoved half a sandwich in his mouth.

I all of a sudden had tears in my eyes, and knew where to look. Alice was staring at me and had tears running down her face. I grabbed her up in my arms an carried her to the living room so that we could talk. I hated being the reason my baby sister was so sad.

"I missed you Edward, and I still do. I really wish that you would go back to being the big brother I need, and love. I hate this faux player, and his rotten attitude. I had a lot of time to think about it on my trip." She said wiping tears from her face.

"I know Al, I am sorry. I just don't know if I can be who I was, or if I want to. Look what it got me. I will try." I said while guiding her head to my shoulder.

"Ok, that's more than I expected. Anyway, how was things while I was gone? Jazz said that there is a new girl named Bella, have you met her?" Oh boy I knew I would have to deal with Alice and the Bella issue, but I had hoped for a day or maybe two.

"Things were like normal, and Bella sits next to me in bio but I haven't gotten to officially meet her yet." I said quickly hoping for a change of subject.

"What?! You didn't introduce yourself in class, Edward that is rude." She said grumpily.

"Your sister is right, your mother and I raised you better than that." I turned to see my dad walking in to the room, and reaching down to hug Alice. Great now I am in trouble for being rude to Bella.

"You're right, I just had a busy day, and lost myself." Was the best cover I could come up with. Dad seemed to buy it, but Alice gave me a look that said BULLSHIT, what is really going on?

They all let it drop, and we all caught up with each other. It was nice that dad took the afternoon off. We all played video games, and watched a movie before mom called us all in for dinner. We all sat down at the dinning table, and had a great family dinner. Jasper and Rose's mom joined us for dinner. She was the DA(district attorney) in Forks, and was really busy considering the low crime rate.

Once the Hales went home, I could tell that Alice and Emmett both wanted to continue our earlier conversations, so I pretended to be not feeling well, and went to bed early. I really needed to think about all of the things that happened in my life today. I hated dealing with change, and today it seemed everything started to change without my permission. I knew I had to get Bella out of my mind, or I would be under Alice pressure. I tried to forget the beautiful pained girl, but I couldn't. She starred in my dreams, and my waking thoughts. I didn't know anything about her, but I knew this was going to be bad for my current way of life, very bad.


	3. Forced friendship

**Thank all of you who have reviewed the first two chapters. I really appreciate the feedback. **

**Sorry that I haven't updated in a while. I have been really tired, and I found out why yesterday. I am pregnant with my second child. So therefore no burning the midnight oil. **

**Thanks again to my beta Brook, she is the best.**

**I know you want to know the full story behind Bella's tragedy. You will find out but not until much later, there needs to be a lot more development before I can let you in on it.**

**Please review, not just for the sake of reviews but for the sake of the story. I want it to live up to all expectations.**

Bella POV

I woke up early on Tuesday morning to a faint glow streaming in through my window. I was overly tired. My night was riddled with horrific nightmares, well more like memories than actual dreams. At night is when it all comes back and there is nothing I can do to stop it. At least last night, I was a passive observer so I didn't feel the pain firsthand. But that also meant I had to watch the horror that happened to me, and still hear all the words that shattered my hope of a normal life. I would forever fear the truth in the words that were spoken that night before I passed out from the pain and injury.

I shook my head quickly from side to side. I need to stop thinking about the trauma from my past. I needed to focus on the present, and the future I wanted. I knew it was stupid but _he_ was still a part of what I wanted my future to be. My shrink would have a field day if he knew that I still thought of Jacob that way. I shuddered at the mental mention of his name. Speaking of shrink, I have an appointment with a new one in Port Angeles on Friday. I rolled my eyes. I was under strict supervision until I turned 18 and couldn't refuse. I guess trying to kill yourself makes you untrustworthy.

I decided that I had dwelled on the unhappy issues long enough. I searched my closet for the most boring outfit that I could find. I pulled out a pair of dark wash hiphuggers, and a gray long sleeved sweater that hit mid thigh. I sprayed my hair with water and slicked it back into a tight ponytail. I looked in the mirror and realized that my fitful night left the circles under my eyes darker than usual.

I sighed taking in my appearance. I looked exactly how I felt, depressed. I remember how I used to wear bright colors, and trendy clothes. That I used to spend time on my hair, and my make-up was the talk of all the girls. It was just enough to be noticeable, but not overdone. I was trendy, and pretty good looking. Now I was dark, drab, pale faced and unattractive. I looked like the cadaver I worked on during my summer internship with the medical examiner.

I trudged slowly down the stairs wanting to put my upcoming day off as long as possible. I heated up a bowl of instant oatmeal, and ate it standing in front of the small white kitchen counter. I tried to just think about each bite, not wanting to admit that being a social outcast was actually hard on me. In Phoenix I was the 'it' girl, even though I never felt like I belonged in that position. I had only one friend that truly mattered, and now I didn't have anybody.

If I can't trust my oldest friend in the whole world, how was I going to trust anybody else. That was simple, I wasn't. All people will disappoint you, and hurt you sometime. Some people were just sneakier about it than others. I couldn't help the humorless laugh that escaped my mouth. Some people like Edward wore "I'm an asshole" openly like a badge of honor. I am still floored that he can walk through life using two girls for his own pleasure.

My stomach knotted at the thought of him and his two puppy dog followers. One day is all it took for me to realize that there were at least three people in my new school I would avoid like the plague. I wish I could understand what was going through the minds of those two girls. That was probably it, they didn't have much going on up stairs. That has to be the only explanation of why two girls would openly share one guy. He is hot, sure, but I am sure there are other guys in school that are close enough not to degrade yourself.

I cleaned up after my breakfast, glancing up at the clock. I had twenty minutes before the first bell would ring. Time to go. I sighed heavily and threw on my boots, and raincoat. I ran out to the driveway, and realized that Charlie was already gone, and I had no ride to school. "Crap!" I said while running back into the house dialing my dad at the station.

"Chief Swan please." I said in a professional tone.

"This is Chief Swan." My dad's voice said with excitement. He must not get too many calls.

"Dad, it's me. I don't have a ride to school." I wanted to get to the point.

"Crap kid, I forgot to tell you to get the bus schedule. I will have deputy Mark swing by. He's patrolling the area. Get the bus schedule for tomorrow. Have a good day, and sorry about this." His voice was hurried. I think he knew I wasn't going to be thrilled with the bus riding plan.

Ride the bus, I can't believe that I have to ride the fuckin' bus. This is just getting more humiliating every second. I needed to try to acquire a less embarrassing mode of transportation to school. I was already labeled a freak on day one, the bus was going to make it sooo much worse.

I heard a car pull up in front of the house. I ran outside to the police cruiser. Deputy Mark had been working with my dad since he was twenty-one. He was in his thirties now. I jumped in the passenger seat.

"Thanks for giving me a ride." I said quietly. It was awkward being around people that knew everything.

"Not a problem. How is living Forks workin' out for ya?" He asked in a friendly tone.

"It works." I replied rolling my eyes.

He laughed a knowing laugh. "Yeah it can be boring, but it works, like you said. I heard your dad mention riding the bus. I'll talk to him about that for you." He smiled an winked.

"Thanks, that would save me from being talked about more than I already am." I said with horror marring my tone.

He turned into the less crowded parking lot at school, and I hopped out quickly saying thanks and goodbye in a hurry. I looked around hoping that not too many people saw my police escort to school. Invisible was seeming to be a much harder task than I originally thought. If I had to ride the bus it would be impossible to be invisible. I groaned as I walked down the hall to my locker.

I quickly got all my things together, and headed to my first class. As I walked through the hallway, all heads turned toward me, and then whispers flew through the air. More speculations about why I had moved here, and lots of disparaging comments about my clothes, and looks. Oh well, if I kept up with the same stuff they would get bored, and I could get my wish of invisibility.

This thought depressed me further. I wanted to be ignored, but didn't know how to be ignored. I had always had at least one friend, and now not having any was making my new life harder. I know I am a walking contradiction. I don't want to be involved with anybody, I can't trust a single person. Still it would be nice to have somebody that wasn't an over-priced ego maniac to talk to about my problems. Obviously not my real problems, but just the everyday irritations of being a teenager. I just wasn't ready for that. My wounds ran too deep to let anybody in. So I needed to accept my lonely existence and get on with my life.

I moped through the door of my English class, keeping my gaze at my feet. I hurriedly sat in the seat I had picked out yesterday in the back of the room. I was shocked to see that the seat next to mine was no longer empty. I sighed, and sat down keeping my eyes on anything but the girl sitting next to me. I figured if I ignored her she would be like the rest and ignore me, then talk about me to all of her friends later. I was wrong.

"Hi, I am Alice Cullen!! You must be Isabella Swan. I am so excited that I am getting to meet you." Holy shit, this girl was a pixie on speed. I had never seen somebody so enthusiastic at eight in the morning. Also how the hell did she know my name, and why was she excited to meet me? For all she knew I was some crazed killer.

"Hi, and it's just Bella. Nice to meet you too." I said while trying to avoid eye contact.

"What is so interesting about our table?" She asked in the same chipper voice. Most people would find this annoying, but I was slightly amused. She was persistent, I had to give her that. I sighed knowing I was going to have to look her in the eyes. I looked up quickly and gave her a quick smile. I then turned my attention to the front of the class where the teacher was starting today's lecture.

"That wasn't so bad now was it?" I heard her whisper, and I wondered if I was really supposed to hear her or not. She was starting to crack me up. She was about five feet tall, under a hundred pounds. Her short brown hair was highlighted with a plethora of colors, and was spiked out all over. When I could, I glanced at her trying to see what she looked like. She was a miniature version of a supermodel. Her figure was perfect. She was the cutest person I had ever seen. I wouldn't call her gorgeous because her face was cute, and not stunning. The most profound feature of her face were her big green eyes. They reminded me of Edward's eyes. In fact, she looked a lot like Edward. I wonder if they are related?

I couldn't imagine that though. She seemed like a genuinely nice, and happy person, and he seemed to be just the opposite. I tried to concentrate on the class, but my mind kept wandering. I knew that I needed to stop thinking of all the pain, and misery that I was still in. If I didn't, I could end up bleeding to death on a bathroom floor again. I really didn't want that, and still was angry that_ they _had enough power to drive me to my darkest hour.

I would also glance at Alice, and she would smile warmly at me. She is the kind of person that I could be friends with, but I didn't want that. I didn't know her, so of course I couldn't trust her, and if she was a good person she didn't deserve to be drug down by a person with my kind of baggage. I was damaged beyond repair, and I was tainted with horrifying experiences that most people only see in movies, horror movies that is. It was for the good of everybody that I remain alone, and invisible, the people in this town didn't need my trouble in their neat lives. I could barely handle my troubles, and I had practice at it.

I shuddered involuntarily at the idea that my nightmares could find me here in this sleepy town. I knew they were out there, and I knew they meant what they said that night. I just hoped that the move and name change to my rightful last name would keep me safe long enough. Maybe, they would forget their promise, and leave me alone. Until then I was going to keep hidden, and keep a low profile. Invisibility was so important to my sanity, and my survival. I was a threat to their freedom, I was the key to them spending the rest of their lives in jail, possibly even the death penalty. They wouldn't forget that. They would keep searching, until they found me.

As class ended, I could feel the tears fighting to escape, and the panic in my chest at the thought of what was waiting for me on the outside. I gathered up my things, and tried to pull myself together. Alice waited for me to finish, and walked beside me out the door.

"I just want you to know, that if you need a friend I am always here. I won't push though. You need friends, whether you know it or not." Alice said as she happily skipped off into the arms of a good looking blonde guy.

I went to my locker shaking my head. Alice was a force to be reckoned with. She seemed like the type of person who always got their way..in the end. Maybe if I was mildly accepting of her I could prevent her from making my quest for invisibility impossible. Every time that she had talked to me today I hadn't thought about the demons that haunt me. Maybe being around her wouldn't be all bad. I still wasn't sure, I just don't know if I can trust anybody. Or if I want to put myself out there to trust somebody. This was going to be difficult. I thought I had it all figured out. Stupid little pixie girl fucked up my plans!

I hung my head and grumbled under my breath as I walked into my calculus class. I looked up as I walked in and to my disbelief in the seat next to mine was the stalker fairy. She was a plague on me apparently. I wasn't going to get out of being her friend, she was going to be the proverbial thorn in my side. I sighed in defeat and stomped off to my seat hanging my head. I reached my seat, and looked into her vibrant green eyes. I swear she was going to fall to the ground if she didn't stop squirming in her chair.

"Yay, this is so great. We have two classes together. That will make it so much easier for us to become fast friends....Oh this is my boyfriend Jasper." She said in a rush as she gestured to the blonde boy sitting in front of her. He just smiled and turned his attention back to her.

"You aren't going to let me not be your friend are you?" I whispered as class began.

"Not a chance, I just have a feeling about you." She said in a devious tone. What kind of feeling did she have? It should be one of terror, and unease. Nothing good can come from being around me. I am a ticking bomb waiting to explode. For some reason being around this girl that I didn't even know put me at ease, my negative thoughts came through less often. They were still there, but not every thought was about them.

Alice squirmed in her seat through the entire class, and I wondered if maybe she wasn't on something. There is no way a normal person can be that bubbly and energetic all the time. Then again who am I to judge anybody. I was pretty sure she hadn't tried to off herself recently, so she was one up on me in the sanity department.

At the end of class we were working on tonight's assignment early. One of the two girls that was with Edward came up to our table and started talking to Alice.

"Hi Alice, I am so glad that you are back. It isn't the same without you." The strawberry blonde girl was smiling, but it sounded like she was being sarcastic.

Alice went rigid, and her eyes were burning with pure hatred and anger. She growled out low through her teeth, "Listen here you little tramp, just because you have my brother pulled into your sick little world doesn't meant that you have any right to talk to me. I could care less what you think, and you are to stay away from Emmett and myself. I am sure Rosalie will take care of you if you bother Emmett again. As for me....I can take care of myself. So why don't you just go and die of syphilis already."

The strawberry blonde went pale, then she turned towards me with an evil glint in her eyes. "Hey new girl, stay away from Edward Cullen, just because he is your lab partner doesn't mean shit. Stay away or you will regret it!" I was lost at why she would even say that to me, but before I could process her words she put her hands on my shoulder and her face in mine.

That was all it took. I remembered the feeling of hands holding me down, and tearing at my clothes, and hot breath all over my body. Then I felt the sharp agonizing pain rip through my body. I felt like screaming, but I was lucky that my mind had become overprotective and everything went black. I relished the darkness. In the darkness the pain was faint, and the memories were distorted.

"Bella, oh Bella please look at my baby!!" Charlie's voice pulled me from the darkness. I blinked my eyes a few times trying to figure out where I was, and what had happened. I realized I was in the nurses office, and my dad was leaning over me in a panic.

"Dad, what happened?" I asked in a scratchy voice.

"They say that Tanya Denali was talking to you, and when she put her hands on your shoulders that you screamed like you were in pain and fell to the ground completely passed out." He answered his voice thick with irritation.

This was why I was so terrified of being touched. This was a lot better than other times since I only screamed once, and then passed out. I had relived that horrific night out loud on a few occasions before, and seeming how I wanted it to stay a secret here, I couldn't have that happening.

"Do you want to tell me what really happened?" He asked in his serious cop tone.

I told him everything that happened in the morning including Alice, and my fears about having any friends. He apparently was aware of the threesome between Edward, and the two girls apparently named Jessica Stanley, and Tanya Denali. He wanted to speak to Tanya and her parents about her making threats. Ever since my little incident, I had decided to be honest with Charlie about everything, and he has become very protective. He is just so afraid that anything might send me back into my deep depression, and I might come up with a better way of ending it all.

"Well kid, let's get you home." He said quietly.

"No, please dad. I don't want anymore talk about me. What if they get too curious, and start looking into me. I can't handle it if they find out. What if they do the same thing the kids in Phoenix did?" I felt panic rising inside of me. I couldn't afford that kind of misery again. I would crumble, and find myself six feet under.

"Ok, ok, calm down baby. You can stay. Just say that you recently had an appendectomy, and one of your stitches popped open, and caused you to scream and pass out." He said as he kissed my head.

I had to give it to Charlie, that was a pretty good cover. "Ok, thanks dad. I will see you when you get off work." I smiled lovingly at my dad.

The nurse informed that lunch was just beginning. I ran out to my locker and grabbed the lunch I packed. After eating the horrible food yesterday, I figured I would be safer if I made my own lunches from now on.

I slowly walked into the cafeteria, and found the same table I sat at yesterday was empty. As I did my people watching, I saw Alice standing in a corner with Edward, and another boy who I recognized from gym class. He was huge. Alice was pointing her finger in Edward's face, and it looked like she was yelling at him. He had his head hung. In the middle of her argument she looked over at me and pointed at me while continuing her rant. Then the two boys looked at me as well. I ducked my head in embarrassment trying to hide the blush on my cheeks. I wish I had worn my hair down today.

I was trying to figure out why Alice was talking to Edward. He was so foul, and repugnant, and she was so sweet and kind. Then I remembered her conversation with Tanya. I felt the blood burn through my body as realization hit. Edward was Alice's brother, and that big guy must be the Emmett she had referred to. I wondered if he was her brother as well. This whole situation left me lightheaded, and again I wasn't sure I could handle having friends. Even if Alice was going to be persistent. It was beginning to feel like a Jerry Springer episode.

I decided it was for my best interests to ignore the rest of the cafeteria. I took my lunch out of its brown paper bag and spread the contents in front of me. I put the salad ingredients together in a big plastic bowl, then put my half of a sandwich together. I had packed a sweet asian salad with almonds, mandarin oranges, and sweet ginger dressing, along with a turkey and swiss sandwich on sourdough. To drink I had packed raspberry iced tea. I was so involved in putting my lunch together that I didn't notice that others had come to sit with me.

I heard the scrape of chairs and looked up from my artistic meal. Sitting across from me were four people, two I could name for sure and the other two I hadn't met. Alice, Jasper, and girl who looked a lot like Jasper, and the big guy I had seen with Alice earlier all sat staring at me. The girl I didn't know was devastatingly gorgeous. She had long golden hair, brilliant blue eyes, and one hell of a tall thin body. The boy who sat next to her and Alice had dark brown hair, and the same green eyes that Alice and Edward had. He had huge dimples on his cheeks. He was adorable, huge and scary but adorable.

"Hey Bella. I am glad you are feeling better. This is my brother Emmett, and his girlfriend slash Jasper's sister Rosalie." Alice said in a more subdued tone than earlier in the day.

"Hi, nice to meet you." I said while still putting my food together.

"Shouldn't it be Jasper's sister slash Emmett's girlfriend?" Jasper asked rolling his eyes. " After all I have known her a lot longer."

They all laughed and I smiled at that, he did have a good point.

"So, Bella did you make that food yourself?" Emmett asked, and he seemed genuinely curious.

"Yep, even made the dressing. I am good with food." I said, surprised at how I shared a personal detail so easily with people I didn't even know.

"God Em, don't you think of anything besides food?....Wait! Don't answer, I don't want to hear it." Alice was picking up her chipper tone again.

"Look Bella, I am really sorry about what happened in class. I should have known she would pull a stunt like that. She can't handle being put in her skanky place." Alice said in a sad distant voice.

"Don't worry about it. It wasn't her that was the problem. I still don't even know what she has against me. I really don't mind that people don't like me." I said trying to pacify the situation, but still telling too much about myself.

"Not to be rude, but why is it that you won't talk to anybody? New kids usually try to fit in right away, and you are going out of your way to be ignored?" Rosalie spoke in a voice that could only be describe as bitchy or cocky.

"Let's just say, it is for the best that I stay away from people and people stay away from me. I just want to be invisible, and left alone, but this one over here isn't making that very easy." I said while looking at Alice. I am still giving too much away and I don't understand why.

Nobody said anything else after that. They seemed to be lost in thought, and I hoped that I hadn't pricked their interest. I didn't need people digging into my past, I wanted to put it behind me.

The lunch bell rang and everybody except for Alice rushed off to class saying quick goodbyes. Alice just stayed seated and sighed while reaching across the table to grab my hand. I pulled back quickly. She frowned deeply.

"I told you I wouldn't push, so after today I will only come around when I am invited. I just hope that you see that having friends isn't that bad. Don't worry about Tanya and Jessica. Rose and I had a little talk with them before lunch. They should leave you alone from now on. Have a good day." With that she hopped out of her seat and danced off to class.

I cleaned up my lunch and half ran to bio. I made it there just before the final bell rang and quickly sat in my seat. I didn't even notice that Edward was already seated.

"Hi, I am Edward Cullen. Sorry I didn't introduce myself yesterday." A smooth deep voiced crooned at me. I looked over to see his deep green eyes looking at me, a half smile on his face.

"Hi, I am Bella." I barely whispered and then turned away from his gaze looking toward the from of the class. Just my luck Tanya and Jessica were sitting in front of me. Both of them turned around and gave me hate filled looks.

Great, not only am I not invisible I have a hyper pixie that wants to be my friend, and two brain dead sluts that want me to die. If only they knew how close I had come to granting them their wish. I still didn't understand why the man-whore decided to introduce himself to me, and after my day, I just couldn't care. I just hoped he didn't look at me as fresh meat, because unlike the blonde zombies I wasn't stupid enough to fall for a guy like him.

Biology class went pretty quickly it was another lecture on cellular structure. Tomorrow, I wouldn't be as lucky in avoiding Edward, we were doing partner lab assignments. I just hoped that he wasn't as dumb as his girlfriends or he would be holding up my education. I was smart and hated being slowed down by the brainless.

I was relieved when the bell rang, but that was short lived. I had gym as my next class, and I was athletically challenged. I walked past Edward and his bitches, and quickly went into the locker room to change. I figured that I would change in a bathroom stall, that way nobody would see the scars on my stomach. They didn't exactly resemble surgical scars. I was the first dressed.

Gym was torture. Tanya was in gym with me and would hit me with the volleyball as much as possible. Luckily Emmett, and Rosalie were also in my class. Every time Tanya hit me, one of them would return the pleasure to her a lot harder. I smiled thinking that it was sweet for them to stick up for a freak like me. Emmett was graceful for being a muscle bound monster, and Rosalie looked like a professional. When Coach Clapp blew the final whistle I ran off to change in the bathroom. I finished quickly, and realized once again I was rideless and hadn't figured out the bus schedule.

"Shit!!! Damn it!" I swore to myself.

"What has you actually verbalizing?" Alice's sweet voice took me by surprise. I turned to see her and Jasper hand in hand.

"I just forgot to look up the bus schedule, and I don't have a way home, guess I am walking." I said glumly. It was a long walk to my house and it was raining like always.

"Bus? Did you just say that you are going to be riding the bus!" Alice shrieked, she was genuinely horrified by me riding the bus.

"It's the only way for me to get to and from school. For today, I guess I am walking home." I said matter of factly.

She just gawked at me in horror. Then I heard a voice from behind me. "I'll give you a ride home."

I turned to see who it was that spoke. It was Edward. Ha, like I am going anywhere with him.

"Yeah that's a good idea, you can ride with us. Edward can drop you off on our way home." Alice said like it was the simplest idea in the world.

"That's ok, I can walk." I said stubbornly.

"Don't be ridiculous, you'll get soaked, and most likely get sick. You can ride in the back with Alice." Edward said in an annoyed voice. It was the most I had ever heard him speak.

"Yeah, come on." Alice said while getting ready to grab my arm. I jumped at her touch, but she backed off seeing my discomfort. They must think I am a total nut.

I climbed in the backseat of Edward's Volvo. The ride to my house was short but very weird. Alice kept giving Edward weird looks in the mirror and he would do the same back. It was a little creepy. I was glad when they pulled up to my house. It was strange that they knew where I lived, but hey I was the police chief's daughter. Maybe everybody knew where I lived.

As I climbed out of the car I hear Alice growl, "Edward, I will and you know it!!"

"Umm...Bella?" I turned to see Edward leaning toward me. "I am really sorry about Tanya, she had no right to say what she did to you, and I am sorry that she upset you." His voice trailed off at the end. I really felt awkward, and had no clue what to say.

"Umm, ok." I said, and turned toward the house.

"Bella wait!" Alice yelled. I turned and saw her jump out of the car and come towards me. "Hey, I know I said I would let you be, but if you ride the bus, invisible won't be possible ever, so let us pick you up in the morning."

I groaned because I knew she was right, but I really didn't want to ride with Edward again. That would just fuel the hatred of his dumb bunnies. "Fine." I said and turned and went into the house.

Charlie got home an hour later to find me curled up in a ball on the kitchen floor. The day had taken its toll on me, and my emotions waged a terrifying battle. I was lonely, angry, hurt, betrayed, confused, and under it all, still in more pain that somebody should be able to live through.

He pulled me off the floor and rocked me in his lap, in the chair in the living room. He let me cry until my tears ran dry. I knew that I would never want to end my life again because the simple gesture of holding me and letting me get it all out showed that Charlie loved me more than anything else. I would never want to hurt him by taking my own life.

After an hour of crying, he ordered pizza and hot wings. We sat in the kitchen and talked. We talked about everything, I told him about my old happy life, about Jacob, and recently about everything that was happening now. I told him how I was so afraid that they would find me, and that if I had friends they could get hurt, or hurt me like my friends in Phoenix had done. He was quiet through most of it, but he said one thing that stayed with me.

"Bella, someday you will come across one or more people that are genuinely good, and you will want to share your past, and it won't hurt you when you do it. It will take the pain that is leftover away. It will put the final stitches in your soul. You will finally be able to heal when you find that person or those people, whichever. It can't be me or your mom either, it will be somebody who earns your trust, as well as you earning theirs. Everybody has secrets, it's just finding the people to share them with that truly counts."

I showered, and got ready for bed. As I laid there, I looked out my window thinking about his words, and wondering if he wasn't right. Maybe I needed to open myself up to more pain in order for my deeply rooted pain to disappear. I fell into a dreamless sleep, thankfully. The only thing that permeated my sleep were several pairs of green eyes, friendly and warm.

When I woke up in the morning I felt refreshed. I hadn't felt that way in a really long time. Today was a new day, and it felt like a new beginning, but to what I wasn't sure of.

**Ok if you review I will send you an outtake of Alice, and Emmett's conversation with Edward at lunch.**


	4. Being myself

Edward POV

"Alice, you know it isn't fair for you to make Jasper ignore me when you are mad at me." I looked in the rearview mirror at my sister. She had an indignant look on her face, and she was trying to pretend that I didn't exist. I don't know how many times I needed to tell her and Emmett that I had nothing to do with Tanya being a bitch to Bella before they believed me. If only they knew what I really thought about the beautiful new girl.

"Dude, no offense, but I am ignoring you because I am mad at you, not because Alice told me to. I guess I am just really tired of your bullshit. Bella seems like a nice girl under it all, and she did not deserve what Tanya did....before you interrupt...I know it isn't your fault, but she is your 'girlfriend' and you shouldn't have let her get away with it. She owes Bella an apology." Jasper said while leaning into the front seat to look at me while he spoke.

This was just one long day of being yelled at, first with Alice and Emmett, then Rose before last period, and now Jasper. The funny thing is that they all claim to be tired of my bullshit. To be honest, I think I was just as tired of it as they were, but I wasn't going to tell anybody that.

"It was nice of you to offer Bella a ride home." Alice said in a cold distant voice. This was her way of saying that she didn't hate me, she was just peeved. "Don't worry, I will pick her up in my car in the morning. I don't want her to have to endure another ride with you." She said in a bitchy voice.

That reminded me, I was at a total loss as to why Bella seemed to loathe me so much. I had tried being polite. I guess I was distant, but I still didn't understand why she hated me so much. "Yeah, what is her problem with me anyway?" I asked casually, I really didn't want Alice to know how much it stung.

She eyed me suspiciously in the mirror, and hesitated. "Umm...well I think that your two whores make you look pretty bad, and the fact that you were rude and didn't introduce yourself to her,her first day...but I guess that only explains her disgust. She really does seem to hate you. I really don't know why." She seemed to be mostly talking to herself at the end.

"Edward, when you decide to pull your head out of your ass I will tell you what I really think about Bella. Maybe then you can be honest and tell me what you really think about her. I am not going to force it, and I don't want to hear your lies. So when you are back to your old self come see me. Until then, you are driving to and from school alone. I can't play happy anymore." Alice whispered, tears filling her eyes.

I knew that she knew I had some feelings about Bella, but even I didn't know what those feelings were yet. I really wondered what she meant at lunch, and just now about Bella. I know that I could see that she was in pain, but was there more to it than that? There had to be, but did I really want to be involved? Yes, and no. I wanted to skate through the next two years, but Alice wouldn't let that happen. So I might as well give in now before I lost my three best friends.

I had to change, go back to the way I used to be, except this time I wasn't going to be gullible and stupid about who I trusted. The 'relationship' with Tanya and Jessica was going to end, and I was going to tell both of them what I really thought. Who cares if they blab about what happened with Victoria. I couldn't hide from my shame forever. It is over, and I need to be a better person.

As soon as we reached the house, I ran into the house ignoring everybody. I went into my room, locked the door, and faced my closet. The clothes that weren't 'me' were going to goodwill, and my old wardrobe was making a come back. No more brand logo t-shirts, and sagging jeans. I was going back to wearing button up collared shirts, sweaters, and jean that didn't fall off. I had the ability to dress nicely, and I was going to.

Once I was finished with the closet, I went into the bathroom, and threw out the super smelly cologne and dug under the sink for my old aftershave and scented lotions. I didn't like having a heavy smell, just something light and nice. I looked at myself in the mirror, and saw my heavily gelled hair, and earrings. I took the earrings out and threw them away. I took a shower to rinse the gel away.

Once I was satisfied that I looked like myself once again, I cleaned my room. I took down all of the ridiculous rap posters, and half-naked girls. That might be how some guys are but that is not how I am. I just was playing a part. A stupid part, but at least I am getting out of it now. I picked up all of the clothes that littered around the room. I then stripped my bed, and found my old bedding set in the linen closet out in the hall.

It was six when I finished, and I felt a huge weight come off my shoulders. It felt good to be in 'my' room again. It was neat and clean, and nicely coordinated. I knew that if people from school were to see it, they would say it was 'uncool' but I didn't care anymore. The only opinions I cared about where in this house, and for some reason I care about Bella's opinion. That was going to be a task, changing her perception of me, but I would do it.

I believed Alice when she said that Bella might need me, I sorta felt like I might need her. I hated the feeling, but wasn't going to hide from it anymore. I was tired of hiding, and hurting others while escaping the pain of my past.

I sat on my bed daydreaming about the beautiful girl that despised me. I thought about how it would be for her to smile at me, to touch me, to kiss me, and to make love to me. What? I am a seventeen year old guy, what do you expect? I can't help but let my mind wonder to sex, especially about such a hot mysterious girl.

_knock knock knock _

_"Come_ in." I said. I knew who it was. Alice of course.

She walked in slowly and quietly gasped when she saw the change in my room, and my appearance. "Hey, you okay? I'm sorry I was so hard on you today. It has just been really hard, the last six months have sucked for all of us. I just wish you would stop blaming yourself for what Victoria did. You were a victim too."

I sighed. I still felt responsible for what Victoria did to my family. I deserved what she did to me because I endangered them with her. "Alice I don't think I am that ready yet. It is my fault, at least for now. I will come around, but that is going to take time. I am trying though, just let me take my baby steps okay?"

"Yeah I understand, maybe if you talk to somebody about what happened it might help you let it go. It doesn't have to be me, it could be B....anyone." Alice whispered keeping her eyes on the floor.

"When I am ready to talk about it, I will. We all just have to wait for that to happen." I told her in a confident tone.

"Okay, well mom sent me up here to tell you that dinner is ready, so let's go eat." She jumped up and drug me with her downstairs to the dinning room.

The whole family noticed my changed appearance at dinner, but chose to keep their opinion of it to themselves. I did see Emmett beaming from across the table. He understood that this meant the beginning of the change in me they had longed for.

After dinner, Alice, Emmett, and myself sat in my room eating hot fudge sundaes and talking like we used to. At eleven, mom and dad came and told us to go to bed since we had school tomorrow. Emmett slumped down the hall, and Alice hesitated at my door before leaving.

"It's good to have you back." She breathed.

"It's good to be back..oh yea....I will drive us all tomorrow, and we can all pick up Bella together. If she is going to be your friend, she is going to need to get to know me and Em too." Even though I was thinking more along the lines of me wanting to get to know her, even though I still didn't want to admit that, even to myself.

As I laid in bed, I could hear Alice jabbering away, and I knew that meant that Jasper and Rose had sneaked into the house again. She was telling him about me coming around, and he sounded pretty excited about it too. But, then she started talking about how she thought that Bella and I would be perfect together, and that she thought that we needed each other. That of course brought my thoughts back to the beautiful haunted girl who had plagued my thoughts since she unexpectedly dropped into my world.

How much I wanted to see life in her troubled brown eyes, and how much I wanted it to be me that put that life there. I wanted to know what caused her to be the way she was, and I wanted to protect her from whatever it was that hurt her. I knew nothing about her except the fact she hated me, and still I felt the need to shield her, and make her happy. I just needed to figure out how.

I had a sleepless night. I tossed and turned all night, and when I did sleep all that I dreamt about was the look of hatred in Bella's eyes every time she looked at me. I decided that I was going to do whatever it took to make her trust me and like me even if just as a friend, but deep down I wanted her to be more than that. I had never been so compelled by another person in my whole life. I was drawn to her like a flower was drawn to sunlight.

When Alice came bounding into my room at six, I was already awake, showered, and dressed.

"Good morning, big brother." She said in her chipper voice dancing into my room.

"Good morning, sunshine crack fairy." I said in a mock annoyed tone. As much as her chipperness annoyed me, I also loved it.

"I woke Emmett up, and told him we were all riding to school together. He wants to talk to you about that." She exclaimed and danced out of the room.

Oh great, I was gonna hear it for tearing him away from his morning ride with Rosalie. I shuddered at the thought that the 'ride' was more literal than I wanted to know.

I heard his booming footsteps and was prepared. "Hey little brother, so I hear I am missing my morning commute with my sex goddess because of you. So to make it up to me, I want to be front and center when you dump the skank twins...oh oh and I am going to make you say a few things to them like narrate the break-up for you." He began laughing an evil maniacal laugh.

I thought it through for a minute, and a break-up narrated by Emmett would be funny. Tanya and Jessica would hate me forever but what the heck. "Okay, but nothing too bad. I would like to not look like a total ass, and no sex talk."

I really didn't want to insult the sexual prowess of two girls I had never touched in an intimate way. The whole school, hell the whole town thought that I was some sort of oversexed super-freak. Wouldn't they all be surprised to hear I was a virgin. Yep that's right, bad boy Edward Cullen is a virgin. I had barely been to second base, but I didn't really want everybody knowing that. It was bad enough that Emmett and Alice knew, and Emmett teased me mercilessly about it.

"Alright fine, I will only embarrass them, not you." Emmett whined, as we both stomped down the stairs. We found mom and Alice chatting happily over bacon and eggs. We all ate bacon, eggs, fruit, and juice. Rosalie and Jasper showed up and were not thrilled about the driving separately. Mom suggested that we take the Hummer, it would seat all of us and Bella.

Emmett and Rose were thrilled about this. Rose would spend as much of her free time tinkering with the Hummer, and Emmett had a sexual fantasy tied to Hummers, so typical of Emmett. We all finished breakfast and piled into the 'beast' as I liked to call it. My mom took the soccer mom car a little far with this one, but considering road conditions out where we lived it had some practical application.

Emmett drove of course, he was very possessive about who drives the Hummer. I figured he just wanted to look cool. We pulled up to Bella's house, and I smiled to myself when I realized that Bella would have to sit next to me. This gave me butterflies and my body heat rose considerably. Alice touched my arm as she climbed out of the car, and I saw a smile spread across her devious little face.

We all watched as Alice ran up to the door and knocked. We however were not prepared for what we saw when the door opened. Bella stepped out onto the porch and smiled at Alice. That wasn't the most notable part. Bella was wearing a tight pair of faded hiphuggers, and a blue shirt that rested above the waist of her jeans. Her hair was still hanging over her face, but under it she looked to be wearing make-up. She was magnificent, absolutely stunning.

The car filled with gasps of awe. I felt the heat coarse through my body with a vengeance. I thought she was beautiful before, but now this? She was angelic. As she walked up to the car I could still see the terror and pain in her eyes. She may have put on different clothes and a little make-up but she couldn't hide her torment. I wanted desperately to hold her and tell her it was going to be alright. I could only imagine how amazing she would be without the pain in her eyes.

"Hot damn little brother, now I see what kept you up all night, and has you all hot and bothered." Emmett snickered.

"Shut it, Emmett." I growled. Jasper, Rose, and Emmett just started laughing. Jerks.

I jumped out of the Hummer and held the door open for Bella and Alice. Alice gave me a huge smile, and Bella glared at me. She made a low growl when I took the seat next to her. I was determined to figure out a way to get her to stop hating me, but I had to get rid of Jessica and Tanya first.

I stared at Bella the entire way to school. I think she noticed, she kept making disgusted noises and turning as far away from me as possible. I just couldn't help it, I was drawn to her like a moth to a flame.

Standing in front of the parking spot was none other than Jessica and Tanya. I was annoyed, but I wanted to get this over with.

"So, Em what am I saying to them?" I asked Emmett after everybody else was out of the car.

"Here." He handed me a sheet of paper, I read it over three times and had it memorized.

I got out of the car and heard gasps all around. I looked like the old me, not the player with two girlfriends.

"Eddie, why are you dressed like that? Where are your earrings? What happened to your hair?" Tanya hissed in a snotty tone, and Jessica nodded in agreement.

"I wanted to be me." I answered.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Jessica asked.

We were standing in full view and hearing range of everybody so now was as good a time as any.

"I'm done, we are done. I don't want to be with you guys anymore." I said in a flat tone.

They both shrieked and started babbling quietly about this not being apart of the plan.

"Look two easy girls don't add up to one amazing woman. I should have know better than to try. I mean seriously, you don't even have the combined IQ of one woman." I quoted what Emmett wrote.

"And really plastic looks, fake hair, fake nails, pounds of make-up, gallons of perfume. That only adds up to insecure girls that want to be cool. Well, you aren't cool, you are dumb, and really not that good looking. I don't know for sure what you really look like under all that crap but I am guessing it isn't pretty. I am done with fake little girls, I need to find me a real woman." I finished and turned and walked away.

The crowd behind me was silent and I heard Jessica and Tanya gasp and run off to cry in the bathroom. Emmett, Rose, Jasper and Alice were laughing hysterically. Bella on the other hand was giving me her worst glare yet. She apparently didn't approve of my break up. Oh well, I was going to fix that soon enough.

The day drug on slowly. I was eager when I saw that Em and Alice were sitting with Bella at lunch. I gathered my things and prepared my plan to get her to like me.

**Sorry this took so long, my power cord died, so I couldn't update. Sorry for the cut off there too. I just want you to be thinking about his plan, and then we will see it through Bella's eyes.**


	5. Chapter 5

I didn't want to get your hopes up by adding another note but I am getting a lot of inquiries. Pregnancy isn't suiting me well, I am sick all the time so I don't have the energy or ability to sit and write. I am getting a little better. I will try to update after new years. I am sooooo sorry please don't hate me, I just spend a lot of time puking. I hope you all had a great Christmas and have a great new year.


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